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Hooray for Hollywood
Imagine you're a famous actor/actress, and your agent calls you up. He/she says you've just been offered the starring role in a brand new Steven Spielberg movie called:

The Revenge of Dr Z
For the sake of the example -- we're also pretending that you're a serious-minded thespian who wouldn't choose to star in a movie just because you'll be making some mega-bucks.)

So - after finding out how much money you're going to be making - what's one of the first things you're gonna wanna know about the movie?

"What's the movie about?" (Remember, you're a serious thespian.)

Your agent tells you it's about the "rise to fame and glory of an extremely talented astrologer!"


Sounds pretty good, you say - but you'd still like to take a look at the script...

Your agent hesitates for a second - and then explains that it's one of those "experimental, improvisational" pieces. The actors in each scene are given the "situations" and "possible outcomes" - and then the actors intuitively act out the "situations" without a written script or dialogue. (It's a Robin Williams kind of thing....)


Back to reality
Here's where I get into trouble (and it starts to get confusing). The natal (birth) chart is a lot like starring in this movie. The movie has a name, a main plot (and sub-plots), the main characters (and supporting roles), the dialogue between the actors, and the general situations with possible outcomes.
Remember, the dialogue is going to be improvisationally acted out. As the star of the movie - you've chosen a role to play. If someone like Sean Connery, for instance, had gotten the part - then he'd probably make a lot of acting "choices" that you wouldn't make.


One further leap
This is going to get a wee bit confusing - but consider the Planets in the chart to be a lot like the main characters (and supporting roles) in your movie.
Consider the Aspects in a chart to be a lot like the dialogue between the different actors. Then consider the 12 Zodiac Signs and 12 houses to be a lot like the plots, themes, and/or situations.

Planets - the characters
Aspects - the dialogue
Signs and Houses - the plots, themes, and situations
Some dialogue (aspects) between the actors (planets) will end up being more important than other parts of the dialogue (aspects). The most important and memorable moments of dialogue are what will win the actor (planet) an Oscar. Other parts of the dialogue will be barely noticed by the critics.

Remember the myths I mentioned a page back?

Examples (gross oversimplifications)
of Moon Connection Myths:

Moon/Saturn - "the hungry, deprived child"
Moon/Uranus - "the abandoned child"
Moon/Neptune - "the lost child"
Moon/Pluto - "the violated child"
Typical Moon/Saturn Dialogue:

Saturn: "Life can be very hard, cold, and cruel! This, my child, is the most important lesson I have to teach you."

Moon: "But Saturn, I'm just a young child. In order to feel safe and secure - I desperately need to feel the comfort of your nurturing parental warmth, love, and reassurance!"

Saturn: "You may think that, my child.... but I need you to understand that I was so harsh, cold, and distant while you were growing up - simply because I was protecting you from all the harsher realities of life. I didn't want you building up any false, "Pollyanna" expectations, or hopes from life."

Moon: "Saturn, I still don't understand your harsh ways - and, yet, I'm sure you're right. You are so very wise and experienced, and I am so young and know so very little.... I'm quite sure you're right... I'll never get what I need in order to feel emotionally nurtured, safe, and secure! I promise you, from this day forward, I'll learn to expect very little emotional satisfaction from life. That way I can never be disappointed..."

Choices....choices....choices.....

IV - The Houses
You might as well know up front that if you don’t know the exact time (i.e. 11:38 pm) of your birth, then you won’t be able to calculate your Ascendant (which in turn sets the stage for determining the 12 Houses).



If nothing else about the basics of astrology really manages to throw you a curve, then attempting to understand the 12 Houses should do the trick quite nicely.

And I truthfully don’t know what to do about that. Hey! Give me break... I'm good, but even I’m not a miracle worker.

Well Worth Learning, Though
But as difficult as it is to initially get a good grip on how the Houses work... the Houses are also quite interesting and more than worth your time and effort to understand.

Why? Because understanding the Houses is when you first discover you’ve got all 12 of the Zodiac signs contained in your birth chart.

Simply put: the Houses are the places where stuff happens. And so the 12 Houses map out the “general areas of life” where you’re naturally the most attracted to and focused on during this lifetime.

One way to think of the Houses is as the 12 different rooms of a mansion. There are certain places in your 12 room mansion that you'd naturally end up spending more time in than you would the others. Some folks might prefer spending most of their time in the living room, some in the dining room, and some would prefer hanging out in the den. (Of course, Elvis preferred hanging out in the Jungle Room.)

Celestial Holding Station
In her book Adventures of a Psychic, clairvoyant Sylvia Browne relates this concept regarding her particular "road map of reality":

According to Sylvia, prior to being born on planet Earth, we're sent to a celestial "holding station" where we sit down and decide on 7 general areas of our soon to be life on Earth. These 7 areas are: Love, Social Life, Family, Career, Health, Finance, and Spirituality.

The 12 houses of the astrological chart are similar in concept to Sylvia's 7 areas of life. The main difference being that astrology's "road map of reality" is saddled with 12 rather complex areas as opposed to Sylvia's road map which has only 7 areas. (By the way, astrology may have originally had only 8 houses, and then through the passage of time the number of houses was eventually expanded to the 12 houses we have today.)


The Shortcut
There’s a shortcut to understanding the themes of the 12 different Houses... The shortcut is that the themes of the 12 Houses are very similar to the energies of the 12 Zodiac signs.

Of course, to benefit from this shortcut, you first have to be familiar with the energies of the 12 Zodiac signs. So get familiar with the energies of the 12 Zodiac signs, and then learning the themes of the 12 Houses will be a cinch. Like any other shortcut, it's not exactly perfect... however, for our purposes, it's close enough.

The themes of 1st house are very similar to the energies of Aries. The themes of the 2nd house are very similar to the energies of Taurus. And so on and so on…. So if you get familiar with the energies of the 12 Zodiac signs, then the themes of the 12 Houses will make a whole lot more sense.

Aries 1st house
Taurus 2nd house
Gemini 3rd house
Cancer 4th house
Leo 5th house
Virgo 6th house
Libra 7th house
Scorpio 8th house
Sagittarius 9th house
Capricorn 10th house
Aquarius 11th house
Pisces 12th house

(I’ll have a list of actual house characteristics a little further down below.)




Problem
Unfortunately, my little shortcut for learning the themes of the 12 Houses, can also cause confusion for some folks. The confusion sets in when trying to factor in another main concept about the Houses. This concept is: that each house of the 12 Houses is colored by the Zodiac Sign located on the cusp of the house.

I Need to Repeat That
Each house of the 12 Houses is colored by the Zodiac Sign located on the cusp of the house.

How all this works?
Take for example someone with “Gemini on the Ascendant” or "Gemini Rising." This (generally) means that the Zodiac Sign of Gemini is on the cusp of the person’s 1st house. (Relax... “cusp” is just a fancy word for the exact beginning of the house.)

1st House
Remember the shortcut... and that the themes of the 1st house are very similar to Aries’ energy? Aries is the “I am” sign. Aries is the first rush of spring! The new birth! Energetic, bold, fiery, and impulsive. So the 1st house is the place where “I am” stuff happens. It’s the house of your outer identity that you display to the world.

But with Gemini on the Ascendant, the 1st house of outer identity is colored by the sign of Gemini. And Gemini says “I communicate.” Gemini says, "I’m curious, youthful, flighty, mentally active, and often a wee bit mischievous." So the "I am" energies that you display to the world are that of Gemini.

2nd House:
Now let’s continue on to the 2nd house. The 2nd house themes are very similar to the energies of Taurus. Taurus is the “I possess” sign. Taurus is very concerned with matters of practicality, "I only believe in (and thus) value those things that I can actually touch." Taurus says I love comfort, physical security, and possessions. So the 2nd house is related to personal values and physical security. It’s generally associated with your money and personal possessions.

Remember though, in our example you have Gemini on the Ascendant? So (most of the time) you’ll have Cancer on the cusp (the beginning) of the 2nd house.

With Cancer on the cusp of the 2nd house, this Taurean-like house of money and possessions is where you’ll be the most Cancerian-like. Your 2nd house of money and possessions is where you’ll experience the Zodiac sign of Cancer. Cancer is the “I feel” or “I nurture” sign. So you may choose to earn and/or spend your money in ways that makes you feel good and that nurtures people.

3rd House:
The 3rd house is the house naturally associated with Gemini. As already mentioned just above, Gemini is about communication, mental concepts, curiosity -- as well as -- short trips, siblings and the neighbors ….

Most often with Gemini on the Ascendant, the Zodiac sign of Leo will be on the cusp of the 3rd house of communication. Leo is the "I rule" or "I shine" sign. This means you’ll experience your personal creativity in the arena of communication and ideas. It also means you’re probably quite proud of your ideas, and much of your sense of self worth is tied up in your ideas and in your ability to communicate with all your neighbors. And so, chances are that you probably don’t deal real well with criticism about your ideas.

Well, that's enough of that. Hopefully, you've got the idea...

Common Questions
Question: Dang it! I ain't got no birth planets in the __ House?

Answer: This just means that during this lifetime you won't be focusing as much energy in these Houses. You've still got the house, and you've still got a Zodiac sign on the cusp of the house. You just won't be focusing on those places (or areas) as much as you will in a house where you have planets.

Question: Are some Houses inherently more spiritual or better than others?

Answer: No... The 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th house are often thought of as being spiritual or universal Houses.

However... in my definition of the word "spiritual," spirituality is being is the best you that you can be. Spirituality is being fully who you are.

So in the astrological "road map of reality" - your birth chart house placements assist you in mapping out the places (or areas) where you can potentially learn how to be the best you that you can be during this lifetime.

Not everyone is supposed to be another Gandhi. Not everyone is supposed to be another Martin Luther King Jr.. Not everyone is supposed to be another Mother Teresa.

We each have different, distinctive, and unique road maps.

For example, in your unique road map, you may have several planets located in the earthy, practical 2nd Taurean house associated with money, values, and personal possessions. Your mission in this lifetime (should you choose to accept it) may be to build up a strong sense of inner-values, and then spend your hard earned money on these inner-values.

List of Themes
Here's that list of house themes I mentioned before... I've been feeling a bit lazy as of late... so I've borrowed (with permission) something a cyberpal named Chazz wrote regarding the Houses... The following house descriptions are generally word associations and key concepts (and I did add in a few of my own thoughts):

1st- Aries house, ruled by Mars... "I am"...
personality, physical appearance, competition, how others see us.

2nd- Taurus house, ruled by Venus... "I possess"...
personal possessions, sense of self worth, values and inner creativity.

3rd- Gemini house, ruled by Mercury... "I communicate" ...
mental activity, need for knowledge, short trips, community involvement, relationship to siblings, primary education.

4th- Cancer house, ruled by Moon... "I feel" ...
opposite sex parent *, country, home and family, history, memories-nostalgia, dependence and dependency, real-estate.

5th- Leo house, ruled by Sun... "I rule" ...
Creative expression, romance and love affairs, gambling and speculation, fun and games (partying), Children, giving love.

6th- Virgo house, ruled by Mercury... "I analyze" ...
physical health, diet, self-service, interaction with coworkers, attention to detail and perfection.

7th- Libra house, ruled by Venus... "I balance" ...
one on one partnerships (i.e., marriage or business), commitment to others, appreciation for the arts, what we look for in others, fair play and harmony.

8th - Scorpio house, ruled by Pluto... "I desire" (this is the Jungle Room that Elvis spent a lot of time in) ...
Death, rebirth and transformation, other peoples resources, hidden mysteries, secrets, sex, mysticism, intuitive understandings.

9th- Sagittarius house, ruled by Jupiter... "I teach"
Higher education, philosophy, religion, travel, optimism, expansion and good fortune.

10th- Capricorn house, ruled by Saturn... "I build"
Same sex parent *, career, physical reality (i.e., the world), how we make our way, how we are perceived in society.

11th- Aquarius house, ruled by Uranus... "I plan"
Humanitarianism, friendship, receiving love, sudden happenings, rebellion, and outrageousness.

12th- Pisces house, ruled by Neptune... "I care"
self illumination, enlightenment, the collective unconscious, fantasy, karma, self-deception, hidden enemies, hospitals and institutions, serving others through compassion, psychic ability and sensitivity.


*The 4th and 10th house meridian axis has historically experienced some serious "difficulties." The ancient Greeks associated the 4th house with both "parents." Medieval astrologers replaced "parents" with the Father in the 4th house and shifted Mother to the 10th house. Many modern astrologers have now placed Mother into the 4th and Father into the 10th. If you noticed, I placed the different sex parent in the 4th house and the same sex parent in 10th house. To make matters even more confusing, Vedic astrology places Mother in the 4th house and Father in the 9th house. When I get really cornered, I simply call the 4th and 10th house meridian axis the "parental axis."

back to 4th house

back to 10th house.

The Grand Finale
Okay.... Hang in there with me... If you've managed to make your way through all 4 sections, then we're now almost to the end.... If you've been to all 4 sections, and you're currently in a state of total confusion - then I've found telling stories to be a very effective right brained method of communicating.

So here's a story that may help "unconfuse" you about some of the stuff I've been talking about (especially in regard to the Ascendant and the Midheaven).

It's time for a story called The Castle.


We're Done!
Well, that's as much as you'll get from me about the basics. If you REALLY want to understand this stuff - then go out to a bookstore and buy a book. That's right, web surfer! Get out from behind that computer! Get out into the real world every once in a while!

By Popular Request - Recommended Reading for beginners wanting to learn more about the Basics of Astrology:

Julia and Derek Parker
Parkers' Astrology : The Essential Guide to Using Astrology in Your Daily Life - Excellent beginner's book for learning how to interpret your own chart. May be overwhelming if you're totally brand new to all this stuff. Buy it at Barnes & Noble

Stephen Arroyo
Chart Interpretation Handbook - excellent beginner's cookbook for learning some of the basics of how to interpret your own birth chart. Paperback Buy it at Barnes & Noble

Alice O. Howell
Jungian Synchronicity in the Astrological Signs and Ages. This is written only for those right brained folks who don't need and want organized, boring lists designed for learning astrology by rote memorization. Paperback Buy it at Barnes & Noble

Kim Rogers-Gallagher
Astrology for the Light Side of the Brain - Great (with good humor) for getting down some of the Basics! Paperback Buy it at Barnes & Noble


ARIES : The head, skull, brain, top jaw, cheekbones, facial muscles, eyes, carotid
arteries.
=+ Acute inflammatory attacks, fevers, neuralgia, migranes, vertigo, nose bleeds.

TAURUS : The neck and nape of the neck, throat, lips, tounge, larynx, tonsils, cheeks,
chin, cervical vertebra, jugular vein
=+ Voice loss, sore throat, cervical problems and all the resulting problems of
overindulgence

GEMINI : The arms, hands, lungs, windpipe, respiratory system, rib cage, sternum, nervous
system.
=+ Chest infections, asthma, allergies, respiratory problems, problems with nerves

CANCER : Stomach, oesophagus, liver, pancreas, breasts, llymph, digestive system,
diaphragm, thyroid
=+ Digestive problems, flatulence, stomach ulcers, obesity, liver complaints, contraction
of diaphragm dur to panic attacks

LEO : The heart and heartbeat, aorta, back, spinal muscles, spinal cord, solar plexus
=+ Hypertension, heart diseases, curvature of the spine, back problems

VIRGO : The spleen, gall bladder, intestine, duodenum, abdomen
=+ Hypochondia, depression, constipation, gallstones, stomach aches, chronic intestinal
complaints

LIBRA : The ears, kidneys, urethra, lower back, blood vessels
=+ Kidney trouble and calculus, urinary problems, lumbagem eczema, vertigo and loss of
balance

SCORPIO : The nose, genitals, pubic area, bladder, urethra, prostate, sexual organs,
haemoglobin
=+ Colds and chronic sinusitis, hernias, uterine or prostate problems

SAGITTARIUS : The hips, pelvis, buttocks, coccyx, sacrum, thighs, hipbone, femur, sciatic
nerve, femoral artery
=+ Stiffening of hips or pelvis, sciatica, rheumatism

CAPRICORN : The hair, skin, nails, knees, kneecaps, bones
=+ Joint stiffness or problems, decalcification, kneecap weakness, skin diseases

AQUARIUS : The legs, tibia, fibula, ankles, heel, tendons, anklebones, nerves
=+ Problem with nerves, hypertension, general weakness of limbs

PISCES : The feet, toes, blood, veins, body fluids, synovia, pineal gland
=+ Vein or circulation problems, ganglion inflammation, weak feet, strange diseases that
are difficult to diagnose



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