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vote for the games on this site!!(should i get more?)
more jokes!!
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| Geo Da Man |
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| Welcome! |
*******************************GEO DA MAN!!*****************************
GEO DA MAN 
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NO NOT KRIS EVENS YES YOU KRIS 'KRIS JACKSON!!'
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GUARANTEED A NEW JOKE EVERY 3 DAYS AFTER 7:00pm!!.
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CAUTION THIS IS A JOKES SITE SO FIRST YOU HAVE TO AGREE THAT IF YOU DIE OF LAUGHTER I CANNOT TAKE THE BLAME,THERFORE YOU CANNOT HOLD ME RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR DEATH!!.
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Charizard!!.
charizard
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Copyright 1999, Eric Harshbarger
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http://www.freedave.com/animated/lovebat.gif
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CHECK OUT MY COOL,GROOVY,HOT AND SCARY PHOTO BANK MAN!!.
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HEY I JUST WANT TO SAY "YO" TO MY PALS SPARKY,JACKO,FRAA,GAV,BURGON,AL,WULLIE,AND ANY OTHERS I FOREGOT TO MENTION.
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ITS JOKE TIME!! HA,HAHAHA,HA.
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1)
She was so blonde...
...she tripped over a cordless phone.
...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put
"Sagittarius."
...she studied for a blood test.
...she sold the car for gas money.
...she thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
...when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
...she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
...if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
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2)
She was so blonde...
...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
...she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
...she thought General Motors was in the army.
...she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF GAME!!.
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3)
This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a
puzzled look on his face.
"Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty
Storm?" She told him, "Because he was conceived
during a mighty storm."
Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"
She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield
when we made her."
"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?" The
mother said, "We were watching the moon landing
while she was conceived."
Mother Indian paused and asked her son, "Tell me,
Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?".
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4)
A gay guy walks into the doctors office. He takes off
his clothes for examination. When he takes his clothes
off the doctor sees a Nicoderm patch at the end of his
penis.
The doctor says... "Hmmm, that's interesting...Does
it work?"
The man answers.. "Sure does... I haven't had a butt
in 3 weeks!".
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5)
Mrs. Smith has three daughters who are all getting married within the same month. She tells each one of her daughters to write back about their married life. To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to using newspaper advertisements as a "code" to let the mother know how their love lives are going.
The first daughter gets married and the next day a telegram arrives which reads, "MAXWELL COFFEE HOUSE."
Mrs. Smith checks the newspaper and finds the Maxwell Coffee House advertisement, "Good to the last drop..." so naturally, Mrs. Smith is pleased.
Then, the second daughter gets married and the next day a postcard arrives which reads, "ROTHMAN'S MATTRESSES."
Mrs. Smith checks the newspaper and finds the Rothman's Mattresses advertisement, "Full Size. King Size." so naturally, Mrs. Smith is pleased.
Then, the third daughter gets married. After some three weeks, Mrs. Smith is beginning to get a little anxious because still there are no messages from the third daughter.
Finally, after four weeks, a letter arrives from the third daughter which reads, "BRITISH AIRWAYS."
Mrs. Smith checks the newspaper and finds the British Airways advertisement, "Three Times a Day. Seven Days a Week, Both Ways".
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MORE POKEMON.
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6)
Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents
had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning
centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally
in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down & enrolled
him in the local Catholic school.
After the first day, little Tommy came home with a very
serious look on his face. He didn't kiss his mother hello.
Instead, he went straight to his room & started studying.
Books & papers were spread out all over the room and
little Tommy was hard at work. His mother was amazed.
She called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute
he was done he marched back to his room without a word
and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as
before.
This went on for sometime, day after day while the mother
tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally,
little Tommy brought home his report card. He quietly laid
it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books.
With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her
surprise, little Tommy got an A in math. She could no
longer hold her curiosity.
She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it
the nuns?"
Little Tommy looked at her and shook his head, no.
"Well then," she replied, "was it the books, the discipline,
the structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?"
Little Tommy looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day
of school, when I saw that guy on the wall nailed to the big
plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around".
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7)
A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The
doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back
a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 75 year old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's
like this... First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She
tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She even tried
with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and
still nothing. We even called up Earleen, the lady next door, and she
tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried
squeez'n it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we still couldn't
get the damn jar open!.
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8)
yo mamma so ugly she got hit on the FACE with what the fuck.
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9)
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says to him "Doctor I'm hurting all
over my body".
"That's odd" replied the doctor "Show me what you mean"
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain.
She touches her knee and cries in agony. and so on.
The doctor says to her "Your not a natural brunette are you?"
"No 'm a blonde" she replies.
"I thought so.... your finger is broken".
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10)
There was this drunk that walked into a bar and sat
down at the bar. To his right were three darts.
The drunk said to the bartender. (hickup) What are
these darts for.
And the bartender replied: Well you see, if anybody
can get three bulls eyes in a row they win a prize.
The drunk picks up a dart and being very unstable he
throws the first dart and falls off the stool. When
he picks himself up he sees he made a bullseye.
The bartender says: Oh that was a lucky throw.
So the drunk picks up the second dart and being very
unstable he throws the dart and falls off the stool
again. After picking himself up he saw that he made
another bullseye.
The bartender is very shaken because no one has ever
made three bulls eyes in a row. So the drunk picks up
the third dart and being very unstable, throws the
dart and falls off the stool again.
After picking himself up he saw that he made the
third bullseye and said: give me my prize. I won.
Well, since no one has ever made three in a row he
really did'nt know what to give to the drunk. So he
looked around and saw that there was a large turtle
in the fish tank, pick it up and gave it to the drunk.
About three weeks later the same drunk walked into the
same bar and sat down on the same stool and told the
bartender (hickup) Hey, I want to play that dart game
again. The bartender said, Oh so you really think
it wasn't luck the first time hey. The drunk said
luck huh, I'll show you luck and picked up the first
dart.
Being very unstable he threw the dart and fell off the
stool on to the floor. After picking himself up he saw
that he had made a bullseye. The bartender is shaken
and thinks: is this guy lucky or am i just stupid.
So the drunk picks up the second dart and being very
unstable he throws it and falls off the stool onto
the floor.
After picking himself up he saw that he made another
bullseye. Now the bartender is really shaken because
this guy is the only one that has ever made three in
a row and just in case he does make the third he needs
to start looking for something to give to him.
The drunk picks up the third dart and being very
unstable throws it and falls off the stool. After
picking himself up off the floor he saw that he made
another bullseye and said to the bartender: Give me
my prize give me my prize, I won.
Well the bartender really forgot what he gave the
drunk the last time and didn't want to seem stupid in
front of his friends so he said to the drunk: Look
I forgot what I gave you the last time you were in
here and I don't want to give you the same thing,
can you kind of help me out and tell me what it was.
And the drunk replied: (Hickup) A roast beef sandwich
on a VERY hard roll.
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11)
yo mamma so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch.
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12)
yo mamma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
(i can't contain my self!!).
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13)
yo mamma so fat the last time she seen 90210 was on th bath room scalles. hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaha.
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14)
yo mamma so fat when i was finished with her i rolled over twice and was still on top of her.
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15)
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, and married, with four kids and eleven grandchildren... Last night I had an affair. I made love to a couple of 18 year old girls... both of them... twice!"
"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?" asked the priest.
"Never Father. I don't belong to your church."
"So then, why are you telling me?"
"You kidding?" grinned the geezer. "I'm telling everybody!".
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16)
Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One of them said, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with them flying bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything, but nothing seems to scare them off.
Another pastor said "Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away!"
The third pastor said, "I baptized all mine, made them members of the church, and they haven't seen one back since!" .
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17)
One day, Paul complained to his friend, "You know, my elbow is killing me. I guess I should see a doctor."
"Don't do that!" said his friend. "There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply feed the computer a sample of your urine and it will diagnose your problem for only $10 bucks."
Paul figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and walked to the drug store. Then, he poured the urine sample into the computer and deposited $10 bucks. The computer started making some noise and a number of lights started flashing. After a brief moment, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.'
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, Paul began to wonder if the computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his pet dog, and urine samples from both his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the mix.
The next day, Paul returned to drug store and poured the sample into the computer. Next, he deposited $10 bucks. The computer started making some noise and a number of lights started flashing. After a brief moment, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
'Your tap water is too hard... get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm... bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine... put her in a rehab clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls and they aren't yours... get a lawyer. And, if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.'
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"ANOTHER GAME?" 'BREAK AWAY!!'.
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Copyright 1999, Eric Harshbarger
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18)
a guy joins the army and while the man is getting shown around the corpral says 2 him"since theres no women around when u want a blow job u putt ur winky in this barrel o but u caN'T GET ON THURSDAYS!"
THE PRIVATE REPLYS "WHY?" THEN THE CORPRAL SAYS "CAUSE U R IN THE BARREL ON THURSDAYS!".
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19)
A boy walks in his class his teacher says why are you late "there are 7 in my family and my mum only set the alarm for 6".
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20)
A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way, pal. I don't think you can pay for it."
"You're right," the guy says. "I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"
"You have a deal, my friend," says the bartender.
The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the side of the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the keyboard and starts playing Gershwin music. The hamster can really play...
"You're right... I've never seen anything like that before," says the bartender. "That hamster is really gifted."
The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.
"Will that be cash or another miracle, pal?" asks the bartender.
"Watch this," replies the guy. Again, he reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog onto the bar, and the frog starts to sing. The ffrog has a marvellous voice and great pitch. A fine singer.
A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.
"It's a deal," says the guy. He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.
"Are you some kind of nut?" asks the bartender. "You sold a singing frog for $300? It could have been worth millions. You must be crazy."
"Not so," says the guy. "The hamster is a ventriloquist."
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PLAY THE GAME!!.
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PLAY MY OTHER GAME IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE 1ST ONE!!(some call it 'tic tac toe but ma pals
like tae cau it 'Knots & Crosses'!).
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NEWER VERSION OF BREAK AWAY!!(MUCH EASIER!!).
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this is also a dodge viper car racing fan site{yes kris DODGE VIPERS!}
so if u have any pictures please send them 2 me.It is also a Simpsons fan site so any information or pictures would be helpfull (thanks).ALSO SEE MY PHOTO BANK(ABOVE).
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FastCounter by bCentral
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only the best links in the universe!!
YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOO! CHECK OUT MY LINKS MAN!!. RATING OUT OF 5:-
www.queenwords.com (A GREAT QUEEN FANSITE!!) * * * * *
www.xcheater.com (GREAT CHEATS SITE) * * * * *
www.dodgeviper.com (GREAT DODGE VIPER FAN SITE) * * * *
www.mortalkombat.com (a great cheats/downloads site) * * * * *
www.cheatplannet.com (a great cheats/downloads site for games) * * * * *
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