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| Hello everybody my name is Georgie. I work for a homeless guy in the city, and he makes me try out various items to masturbate with. The experiments usually end up usually with a lot of blood and crying on my part. Nevertheless I am dedicated to my work, I have made a list for all you experimental kids out there of what not to masturbate with. please do not take this as a joke I have pretty much worn my penis down to a bloody little nub to save you from some serious pain. The list is as follows... 1. Things with a warning label that says may cause serious burn or rash 2. Old moldy sausage 3. Animal feces(poop) 4. Shark teeth 5. Old rusty ball bearings 6. Wood glue 7. Melted wax 8. Things with the biohazard symbol on them 9. Your grandmother's underwear (thats just wrong dude) 10. Small woodland animals 11. Nails and screws 12. syringes 13. Your baby teeth 14. Most kinds of acids 15. Moss 16. Fire 17. Sandpaper 18. Urinal cakes. 19. Spray-on hair 20. Spam 21. Broken glass 22. Anything you are planning on eating 23. Thorns 24. Sewing needles 25. Loose gravel 26. Rogain 27. Nair 28. Live wires 29. David Letterman's hair piece 30. Steal wool 31. Boiling water 32. A cut up soda can 33. A light bulb 34. A broken C.D. 35. Dry ice 36. Live cobra 37. Dead cobra 38. Porcupines 39. Live ammo 40. Lighter fluid, flint, and steel |
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