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| Episode 21 "Come fly with me"-sequel to episode 20 "The fly" (Message to Tyler: We got you real bad in this one so be afraid be very afraid…and by the way for reasons of not being sued, when we "tease" people it is never really true. But you would have to be a total idiot not to know that. What's that? You say all the idiots in the world are suing us? Damn it! We apologize idiots are really not that bad.) We first come across a scene of utter nothingness. There are a few buildings but nothing else appears. Suddenly a spec or what you could call a dot appears out of no where… T: Dammnnnzzzzzz, Izzzzz gottaaazzzzz figgureeeessss ouuuttttzzzzz hoooowwwwzzzzz tttoooozzzzz ccchhhaaaannnngggeeeezzzzzz backkkkzzzzz… (Is that really necessary?) T: Sorry I'll stop. Welllzzz (SHUTUP) sorry, as I was saying…maybe Mrs. Doctor Miss Shell knows how to change me back! (There you go Amber are you happy! And for those who aren't amber stare into this flashy gizmo resembling the one from MIB) (Turner who is now for those of you who didn't read episode 20 [those known as slackers. Damn it don't you sue us too!] Has turned into a fly. He fly's over to Mrs. Doctor Miss Shell's and fly's under a magnifying glass which she is studying…well we won't go into detail on what she is studying.) T: Shell you got to help me! DS (Mrs. Doctor Miss Shell): Ha why should I and who the hell are you!?!?!? T: It's me Tyler! DS: Do I know you? T: Oh I guess not… DS: Well I didn't think so! T: Your machine did this to me I'll sue! DS: HA! T: I'll get you! DS: Just try it fly boy (hand hovers over fly swatter) T: OK, OK please can you help me! DS: FINE! I'll see what I can do! (Both go into back laboratory) Somewhere in the Sahara desert… Voice: Alpha 2 are the bombs deployed? Alpha 2 (whoever that may be): Yes Alpha one we are ready in 10 seconds begin countdown. Alpha 1: OK counting down clear the area…10…9…8…7…… AP2: Alpha 1 do you copy? (Suddenly a flash of black flies by Alpha 2, as it passes a head rolls towards Alpha 2) Alpha 2: Retreat, Retreat we have a problem here Alpha 1 is down! Mystery voice: Deploy the bomb and the get out of there! Alpha: Yes master Gates! (Bet you had no idea did you…) (Alpha 2 who as we look closer appears to be none other than Ex-president Bill Clinton he holds up what seems to be the bomb detonator but suddenly it disappears for his hand) Bill: What the hell…(suddenly he is hit with a hard head butt to the back of the head) Shades: Hey Bill, mind if we take over here? BC: uhhh uhhh, I did not have sexual relations with that women? Chaos: is that your answer to everything Bill…well let's see how this detonator works shall we! BC: No don't touch that button! C: What you mean this one? (Presses button, suddenly a near by village bursts into a huge fireball) S: If anyone asks he did it! C: I can go with that. BC: Hey! I told you not to… S: Hey look it's Hilary! BC: Oh god hide me I told her I was out sleeping with my intern if she sees me she'll flip! (Chaos quickly chops Clinton in the back of the head and places the detonator in his hands) C: Few that was close now where's Gates. G: I'm not behind the giant rock. (Shades and Chaos move towards the rock and at the same time jump over at and tackle…nothing but sand) S: Damn he really wasn't there. G: I'm not behind the cactus… S: Yes that's because there are no cactus for miles doorknob. C: HA HA…Shades did you just call him doorknob? (Snickers [no not the candy bar]) S: Huh?! Chaos I'm over here. C: What? Then who called him a doorknob…(Suddenly Shavaun Hendrickson who apparently looked like Shades because of some sort of a mirage, tackles Chaos and pulls her hair, out of no where Boots grabs Hendrickson off and slams her though a very convenient glass window [apparently a very real mirage]) S: You OK Chaos C: Yeah fine just fine where's Gates…(Gates not realizing that the SCI still want's to beat his ass has moved from behind his hiding spot and now is standing right beside Shades. You can see the twinkle in Shades eyes as he turns and faces Gates [actually the twinkle was really the sun reflecting of his sunglasses]) S: I'm going to enjoy this. (Gives Gates a sharp punch to the gut. Gates screams like a girl) C: Well Shades I think our work is done her looks like we dismantled another of Gates diabolical plots so lets go. S: Well Chaos we didn't exactly save the day you did blow up that small village. C: Yes smart-ass and that's the real reason I want to get the hell out of here! (The duo and Boots make there way to the Jag, which is appropriately coloured in desert tan and has wheels which looks similar to those of a Hummer. They tear off towards a airport where they board a huge aircraft which the drive right onto with the Jag.) Back to the laboratory where evil sounding laughing can be heard… DS: BWAHAHA I've turned you into a cow fly boy! I think I'll keep you that way. T: MMMMMMOOOOO (translation: You bastard!) DS: Well sorry can't you take a joke! T: MMOOOO (Translation: Just turn me back) DS: To a fly or to your original form a weasel? T: MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOO (Translation: I'm going to kill you with very blunt objects) DS: What's that you said you'd rather be a hippopotamus? T: MOOOOOO (OK She better turn him back soon these translations are pissing me off) DS: Fine you dumb writer! (What was that you said you want me to add a psycho killer into the story whom chops you up into little bits) DS: My mistake (mumbling) you dumb writer. (She quickly mixes two substances together and puts it into a needle) You don't want to know where I have to stick this… T: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Translation: Ouch, pain. [Cow profanity]) Later… T: Well that's better let me look in the mirror…(Shell hands him a mirror) WOW! Look at me…I'm beautiful! DS: Yes and your also a girl! T: Well yes I knew that! DS: When you said turn me back to my original form…well I think I went to far back… T: Hey I was not once a girl! DS: Well apparently you were…it says here on my data sheet that you were born as a female with the name Tamara Turner (Says this while trying to sustain her uncontrollable urge to laugh) T: That can't be true! DS: Well he thing is when you were 5 months old you had an operation that went terrible wrong that created what you were before you were the fly… T: HEY! I resent that. Well that explains some things that have happened to me. Like the pregnancy and the thing every month I get. DS: What you have a kid? T: No actually the pregnancy just turned out to be bad gas and me becoming overweight but it still explains the once a month thing. DS: Well I have one question left for you. Do you want to stay this way or do you want to go back to Tyler. T: Well I'm dead sexy right now but the thing is I'd have to adjust to so many things that I think it would be better to just be a man again. Besides I was dead sexy back thing too. DS: Oh god is this is a picture of you wholly crap I'd rather eat my own intestines then look at this. T: Yes because you know you can't have me… DS: This coming from a former girl, fly, and cow. Ha! If you don't shut up quickly I'll spread this around time like a flu virus. T: I'm shutting up right now…you god damn crack whore. DS What was that? T: I said my ass crack is sore. DS: Excuse me while I go puke my guts out… The SCI headquarters where Shades, Chaos and Boots are just arriving… (Shades is turning the TV on as we speak) Vicki Grandshove: Good afternoon this is the evening news…I mean good evening this is the evening news I'm Vicki Grandshove and this is…oh I forgot my co-anchor is on vacation the rotten bastard. Today's top stories. First off car pile up lead to the arrest of Serial Killer Ron Slavanka. As he ran a red light right into a pickup truck, tumbled through the side of a semi truck trailer, causing the semi to tip and collide with 38 other vehicles (Ha, ha just like always hey Crash [everyone ignore that statement it is an inside joke]). Fortunately no one was seriously hurt except for that old grumpy geezer o one likes who broke his hip for a record breaking 98th time. In other news a small village in the Sahara village was bombed today by someone reported to have the name of Chaos… C: (gulp) this is not good S: Not good at all… V: There is a worldwide man…excuse me woman hunt being held in order to find this villainous fiend. There is a million-dollar reward set by billionaire bill gates that cheap ass. What a minute I know whom Chaos is I'm going be rich woo hoo! I quit this damn hellhole of a job see ya later chief. (Another news anchor enters in her place) News Anchor: Hello I'm Ron Slavanka, filling in for Vicki Grandsove. In local news it seems that a serial killer is lose as he has escaped from the state penitentiary, there are no leads at this time…and with that I must run! (yet another news anchor enters). News Anchor: Hi. I'm Bill Clinton, as you know I'm kind of out of a job so I will take the liberty of delivering the news to you tonight… Meanwhile Tyler Turner has finally been changed back… T: I feel so alive! (Suddenly Vicki Grandshove runs by shortly after Chaos runs by carrying a very sharp meat cleaver) T: Oh smell the fresh air (breathes in air) COUGH* GASP* HACK* T: Or on second thought don't. I'm alive and loving every moment of it!!!! (suddenly Chaos carrying a now bloody meat cleaver runs right into Turner and you guessed what happened with the meat clever now didn't we). T: Shell, Shell, where are you, oh man this is gonna take years to clean up! Roll Credits Afterward Shell helped get the meat cleaver out but Turner wasn't to happy because it was that time of month. Shades painted the Jag back to the original color of red and broke into the U.S Army's secret base to return the "Borrowed" Hummer wheels. Chaos cleaned her meet cleaver and went to court for the bombing. She later got off Scot-free because as it turns out there isn't a village in the Sahara desert and it was only a mirage…well that's what Chaos proclaimed to the judge and after a couple of meetings with a 100 dollar bill the judge finally gave in. Boots did absolutely nothing but pout for not being included enough in this episode. The SCI later Spiked her fruit drink she was drinking to get some peace and quiet. Vicki Grandshove is now featured on the sides of milk cartons everywhere in a have you seen this person ad. Ron Slavanka later joined the CIA because no one really seemed to care or notice that he was the escaped serial killer. By the way his only victims were old geezers no one liked who would sit on their porches with shotguns. (Please don't sue) And finally the writer of this episode decided to end this episode now… |
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