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| The Official Scott Edwards King Website |
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| The Works of Sir Scott King |
| Welcome |
| What up everybody...
I made up this site to have my poetry and stand-comedy on it, and prolly some other stuff too. Read it and tell me what you think. And if u leave cruel or belligerent messages i will publically insult you and a loved one.
Thanks,
`Scott |
| Poems |
| Eyes and Heart, not a Love Poem
Amy stumbled in late
With a puffy, powdered blue dress
And bright auburn hair.
This is what we saw.
But I witnessed an angelic gathering
of pure, puffy, powdered blue
And blinding, sunny rays of auburn with
Fluttering eyelashes and sincere smiles,
Attempting to hide her traditional graceful clumsiness
Which keeps her from being puntual.
Her name and appearance,
Although stunning, do not matter.
Anyone can see them,
Anyone can describe them.
But few can feel her gentle touch,
Her playful laugh, her sarcastic rebutals or
Her other perfect imperfections.
With her, my eyes deceit.
They dull the moments.
She blinds me with her innocense and purity.
In sudden blindness I close my eyes awaiting her kiss,
Just as I close them when I dream and pray, because I'd much rather feel than see.
Nightfall
Each night the road gets longer.
Getting lost in highway hypnotism
Is only dangerous to the other drivers,
But they rest.
Each night the diner gets emptier,
If I couldn’t see my reflection in the unwanted plate
I wouldn’t know I was here.
Each night the waitress is more disinterested.
Her Strawberry blonde hair bounces with each step.
Her name tag reads Michelle,
It lies without remorse.
She wants the diner’s human trash
To know nothing about her.
Each night sleep slowly seduces.
The television dies as eyelids surrender.
The night ends as it lasted…
Empty and Dark.
Sunshine, Lollypops
My thoughts cannot compete for my attention against my
life’s monitored beeping.
The grotesquely obese nurse puts apple sauce to my right and
waters my flowers.
My distant father solely forges care.
The card reads: “I’m sorry.”
A sincere and delicate way to address the loss of a son.
The nurse’s hog-like mug grimaces at me.
Lucifer has begun to welcome me home.
Will this be the last representation of the female figure I see?
In repulsion I close my eyes to think of past loves and one
night stands.
They aren’t here now.
In this world whores are mightier
Than a thief, a killer.
In thieving I killed a lawman,
No apology.
His kill is pending.
Four new companions,
Deep inside me.
They will make for excellent scars on the corpse.
A just trade,
A “day at the office” for both parties.
If I had the energy to plagiarize and complete his work,
I would.
A “man of God” nonchalantly enters My room.
Just another day at the office.
He speaks to me and reads.
As each word leaves his mouth,
His judgment terminates its purpose.
He knows why I’m here.
When some people go,
They are revived.
They report seeing a lighted tunnel,
Others see passed relatives calling them near.
The man carries on “May Angels lead you in…
” Right, Angels, hell where I’m going they’ll be angels…
And sunshine, lollypops, and board games.
Other people believe everything just ends,
Everything that was you, isn’t anymore,
Your time’s up,
Game over.
Breathing has become a chore, coldness overwhelms my
forsaken body,
And my eyelids are defeated by death’s gravity.
Now that the lawman’s work is done, I see…
The Veteran
The Veteran stared at the sunset against his will. He stared even though it brought him back to blood-ridden sweat and the solitary smell of rice. He never cares to brush his snow-white hair in the morning. He spends a few minutes precisely preparing his coffee. After a few hours of staring he sits in his lawn chair. He waits the rest of the day with a patience that can only be acquired through 23 months in a Vietnamese prison camp. The neighbors are oblivious to his waiting. He left her to fight. Sheila couldn't stand to wait for Him in His house. Every second pained her heart. She feared him dead. She left him. Now he waits. Nearly two and a half decades of waiting. He is oblivious to her state. He fears her dead. Every repetitive moment is for her. He will never speak another sound unless it is for her. There is no more sun to stare at, so he goes to bed so that he can wait for her tomorrow.
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| Stand-up |
| Relations/ break ups:
My sister was crying the other night and I asked why. Turns
out her and her boyfriend broke up. She said it was mutual.
Look break ups are never mutual. If someone tells you they
just had a mutual break up, they got their ass dumped. If it
was by some small chance mutual, the person in question
would take the credit because that's just how people
are. "Ya we broke up." "mutual?" "Nooo, i dumped the bitch
and she never saw it coming."
Man relationships are tough and break ups even tougher. The
next time i break up with a girl, sometime next week, ya
it's not working out, I want to handle it more
professionally, that way no feelings get hurt, it's just
business. "Okay your name is... Susan and you've been with
the company for 4 and a half months. Right, I'm gonna be
honest with you, I talked with management and we just don't
think it's working out. You're very qualified, no argument
there, but we feel someone else will go even further... with
the organization. I mean you don't go downstairs and you
were late twice, that scared the hell out of us! We have to
let you go, I talked to stan in payroll and we're gonna pay
you for the whole month and give you the optional ex-sex
package. Good luck." Then I'd be by the watercooler with my
firends. "Ya, i fired Susan, but I'm thinking about hiring
Carrol, great ass."
COUPLES FUN LIST: Ya, so i'm engaged now. Ya i know, i'm too young, but it feels right ya know. So me and her did the trendy thing now that couples are doing. We each made a list of 5 people that we could sleep with and it wouldn't be considered cheating. You hear of this? Yeah, only I didn't know that they're supposed to be like famous people that will probably never have sex with you. Cuz i go up to her one day and asked if i could make another list, she asked why? i said, "well i'm done." She says, "Done?" "What do you mean you're done?" "Oh i did all those girls." She starts crying, then i see her list, she has like Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and I think Dennis Miller or something. See I had like Sharol from the office, my ex gf sara that just got implants, and our slutty neighbor. I'm not a mind reader! So i'm not engaged anymore.
GUY DATES: You know, "socially," it's a lot harder for men than for women in the world. Let me tell you why... Guys don't only have to worry about asking girls out, guys need people they can cooperate with to ask girls out. So in order to ask a girl out, guys have to ask guys out. Girls automatically hang out if they're around the same age and make fun of the fat girl. A guy has to go through a "courting" process to determine if this is the right guy to go out with. Guys are rea careful here. They look around the office, or guys they talk to in the health club, then when the time is right they say, "Hey, you wanna go have a beer?" Having a beer between 2 men in the equivalent of a dinner and a movie between a man and a woman. How many guys are here tonight because their friend asked them if they "wanted to go out and have a beer?" Congradulations, you are loved. |
| Amazing quotes |
| 1."When I wanted to get an earing as a kid in the 80s, my dad told me if i did he would tie me up with a sign that said faggot on my chest and leave me on the highway. So I got the earing." -Howard ( a huge asshole) at work.
2.(After I tell my coworkers I'm leaving for the summer early) "Just do me a favor and call the next girl you fuck in the ass Rob. Wow that was probably the gayest thing I could have said." -Rob (coworker). |
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