God is annoying because
...his sense of mercy often gets in the way of my since of justice. (Jonah 4:1-2)
...he isn’t impressed with what I try to do for him. (Romans 4:2-3)
...he isn’t impressed with the verbal gymnastics of my prayers. (Matthew 6:7)
...he’s way too generous with my possessions. (Matthew 5:40)
...he thinks my life is his. (Matthew 7:24)
...he thinks I shouldn’t worry about anything. (Phil. 4:6)
...he allows the wicked to prosper. (Psalm 74:10-11)
...he doesn’t like it when I want to get even with somebody. (Proverbs 20:22)
...he’s long-suffering and thinks I should be too. (Luke 9:23)
...he is forgiving and thinks I should be too. (Ephesians 4:32)
...he is omnipotent and thinks I have no business trying to be. (Exodus 20:3)
...he thinks I should pray for my enemies. (Luke 6:27-28)
...he often finds it convenient to put me in inconvenient situations. (Jonah 1:17)
...he takes everything personally. (Matthew 25:40)
...he thinks what he wrote two thousand years ago still goes. (Matthew 24:35)
...he’s invisible (Job 9:11)
...he’s a perfectionist (Matthew 5:48)
...he gives Satan way too much leeway. (Job 1:12)
...he doesn’t make it easy to be good. (2 Timothy 3:12
...he won’t let me take anything with me when I die. (1 Timothy 6:7)
...he won’t take sides. (Joshua 5:13-14)
...he didn’t arrange the Bible in a systematic way to make it easy for me to extract rules and priniciples without having to bother him. (John 5:39)
...he isn’t particularly interested in making me look good. (1 Corinthians 4:9)
...he doesn’t accommodate his schedule to mine. (John 11:31)
...he won’t put my tasks ahead of my relationship with him – even when there are things that just have to get done. (Luke 10:41-42)
...he refuses to justify himself to me. (Job38:4)
...he’s usually more interested in my attitude than in what caused it. (Genesis 4:6-7)
...he never makes mistakes. (Job 36:22-23)
...he thinks humility is a character quality I need. (Luke 14:8-10)
...he thinks delayed obedience is disobedience. (Luke 9:61-62)
...he never loses an argument. (Isaiah 43:25-27)
...he thinks problems can be a good way to make me stronger. (2 Corinthians 4:16)
...he wants me to relax even when the situation clearly calls for stressing out. (Matthew 6:31)
...he isn’t interested in satisfying my curiosity about his plans for other people. (John 21:20-22)
...he’s willing to do almost anything to make me good (and he thinks I ought ti be happy about it). (James 1:2-4)
...he expects me to openly share the secrets I’d rather keep hidden. (James 5:16)
...he expects me to keep secret the things I’d rather openly take credit for. (Matthew 6:1)
...he doesn’t think my anger is justified nearly as often as I do. (Jonah 4:9)
...he wants me to be “glad” during the very circumstances that make me mad. (Luke 6:22-23)
...he doesn’t ignore my mistakes. (Psalms 139:7)
...he doesn’t take the easy way out. (Matthew 4:8-10)
...he isn’t swayed by public opinion. (John 8:48-51)
...he often thinks “no” is a sufficient answer. (Deuteronomy 3:26)
...he always wins. (Acts 5:38-39)
...he know where I am no matter where I try to hide. (1 Samuel 10:20-22)
...he operates outside my comfort zone and wants me there with him. (Ezekiel 4:14-15)
...he know what I am thinking. (Genesis 18:12-15)
...he’s willing to allow me to go my own way – even when he knows I’ll end up in trouble. (Proverbs 14:12)
...he doesn’t appreciate my rationalizations. (Mark 7:10-12)
...he’s isn’t wowed by appearances. (1 Samuel 16:7)
...he insists that the way to get ahead is to take a backseat. (Matthew 23:11-12)
...he thinks a healthy dose of fear is good for me. (Prov. 9:10)
...he won’t give up. (Luke 15:4)
...he doesn’t want me to give up, either. (Isaiah 43:2)
...he won’t let me remain comfortable with my own sin. (Luke 5:8)
...he thinks comparing myself favorably with others is a lousy self-assessment test. (Romans 2:1-2)
...he isn’t easy to follow. (Matthew 7:13)
...he isn’t worried enough about either of our reputations. (Luke 5:33)
...he thinks being good is way more important than looking good or feeling good. (Acts 6:5-6)
...he often wants me to act contrary to the way I’m feeling. (Matthew 5:41)
...he knows all about my personal life and doesn’t hesitate to bring it up. (John 4:16-18)
...he wants me to love people I’d rather not. (Luke 6:32)
...he isn’t impressed with how clever I am. (1 Corinthians 1:25)
...he doesn’t think fixing the problems in my life ought to be the ultimate test of his love. (Romans 5:8)
...he’s immune to the “everyone else is doing it” argument. (Ephesians 4:17)
...his sense of timing doesn’t match mine. (Acts 1:6-7)
...he’s way too comfortable with leaving things open-ended. (Genesis 12:1)
...he doesn’t like my telling him what to do. (Job 38:4-7)
...he wants me to apologize when I’d rather just let offenses slide. (Matthew 5:23-24)
...he wants me to trust him just because of who he is. (Psalms 91:14)
...he has all the time in the world. (2 Peter 3:8)
...he expects me to trust him without knowing all the particulars. (1 Timothy 3:16)
...he’s always kind, but he isn’t always nice. (Romans 2:4)
...he isn’t worried about my missing out on all the stuff the world thinks is important – and doesn’t want me to be either. (Matthew 6:33)
...he isn’t satisfied with letting me be just a little better than I am now. (James 4:8-10)
...he asks me to do things I find embarrassing. (Mark 8:38)
...he isn’t interested in enabling my weaknesses. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
...he has a habit of confusing my part-time resolve with some kind of full-time commitment. (Deuteronomy 30:10)
...he sees right through me. (Luke 6:46)
...he doesn’t think it’s good enough for me to do something just because it’s a “rule.” (Phil. 3:9)
...he drags things out way too long. (John 10:24)
...he refuses to give me absolute proof of his existence (so I can win arguments with my questioning friends). (Luke 16:31)
...he set it up so that my willpower alone isn’t enough. (Romans 7:18-19)
...he always wants to lead. (Matthew 16:24)
...he isn’t interested in my excuses. (Prov. 24:12)
...he keeps blowing away the picture I have of him just when I think I have him figured out. (John 6:18-20)
...he allows me to struggle and fall at the very things he could accomplish in the twinkling of an eye. (John 5:5-7)
...he isn’t politically correct. (John 14:6)
...he can be embarrassingly affectionate. (Luke 15:20)
...he’s hard to please. (Hebrews 11:6)
...he invades my personal space. (John 13:5)
...he lets the consequences of sin go on way too long. (Ex. 20:5)
...he doesn’t mind that today is hard and expects me to remember hard times won’t last. (2 Corinthians 4:17)
...he doesn’t make exceptions. (Romans 3:23)
...he’s not above using my enemies to correct me. (Habakkuk 1:12-13)
...he isn’t interested in building a consensus. (Luke 6:26)
...he expects me to live up to my own words. (2 Samuel 12:5-7)
...he decides when time is up. (Job 14:5)
...he is unwilling to live up to my neatly packaged image of him. (Isaiah 64:4)
Conclusion
I complain and groan morning, noon, and night, and He hears my voice. Though many are against me, He will redeem me from my battle unharmed. (Psalms 55:17-18)
Nice to know that while God takes everything personally, he doesn’t hold grudges. He does, however, hold hearts – wounded, troubled, and annoyed hearts. He’d hold yours, if you’d ask him.
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