A police man pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway.He tells the guy to blow into a breatalyzer.
"i cant do the officer."
"Why not?"
"Because im asthmatic.I could have an asthma attack if i blow into that tube."
"Okay, well just get a urine sample down at the station."
"Cant do that either officer."
"Why not?"
"Because im a diabetic.i could get low blood sugar if i pee in a cup."
"Alright, we could do a blood sample."
"Cant do that either officer."
"Why not."
"Because im a hemophilac.If i give blood i could die."
"Fine, then just walk this white line."
"Cant do that either officer."
"Why not?"
"Because im drunk."
John invited his mother over for dinner.During the meal, his mother couldnt help noticing how beautiful Johns roommate was.She had long been suspicous of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.Reading his moms thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking but i assure you , Julie and i are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your came for dinner, Ive been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You dont suppose she took it do you?" John said,"Well i doubt it butill write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote "Dear mother, im not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house and im not saying you didnt take a gravy ladle.But the fact remains that one has been missing since you were here for dinner."
Several days later.John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son im not saying that you do sleep with Julie and im not saying dont sleep with Julie.But the fact remains that if she had been slepping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.Love MOM"
Lesson of the day.....Dont lie to your Mom.
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