homer quotes - Television - http://www.woodrecords.com/simpsonslair/Homer

here are some funny things that homer has said. If u have any extra sayings that i didn't put here E-mail me.

1. "D'oh"

2. "this donut has purple stuff inside. purple is a fruit"

3. this isn't from homer but it refers to him, "attention Marge simpson we also arrested ur older balder fatter son"

4. "oooo they've got internet on the computer now?

5. homer- "to find flanders i have to think like flanders. Homer's brain- I'm a big four-eyed lame-o! And I wear the same stupid sweater every day and... Homer- the springfeild river!!"

6. homer- (praying)- Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... thy will be done (munch munch munch).

7. "I'll handle this... the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes... wait a minute. Statue of Liberty... THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!" (Starts sobbing uncontrollably)

8. "stupid TV be more funny!!"

9. "Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or lose, its how drunk you get."

10. "Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!"

11. "Be quiet, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip"

12. "In this house, young lady, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

13. "Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!"

14. "ahhhh there's only one beer left and it's bart's."

15. "Sure you've got friends! You've got the dud here! (nudges Milhouse) Stand up for yourself, Poindexter!"

16. "Ahh! Shark boy!!"

17. "I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a diagram?"

18. "Trabapoline! Trabapoline!"

19. "No TV and no beer make Homer something something... Marge: go crazy? ...Don't mind if I do!"

20. "How was Jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees? and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? *chair breaks* D'OH!!! Stupid poetic justice!"

21. "Operator, give me the number for 911!"

22. (singing) "Simpson, Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history! *beep* *beep* From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree... Aaah!!!

23. "To start, press any key... Where's the "any" key?"

24. "I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"

25. " I'll call you Homer Junior. The kids can call you 'Hoju'!"

26. Homer- "Hello my name is mr. burns i believe you have a letter for me." person- ok mr. burns what is your 1st name?? Homer- "i don't know."

27. Homer- Look you pull his tail and curls back up again. Curly... Straight! Curly... Straight! Curly... Straight!" Nerd- "Mr. simpson i don't think he likes that." Homer- oh of course he does the cute little piggie. Curly, straight, curly, straight..."

28. hahahaha "look that dog has somebody's ham. this i gotta see. Urgggg give me the ham you stupid dog!!"

29. "Hello, Dean. You are a stupid head!"

30. "Look! Uruguay! What the hell kind of a country is that?! Heh heh, U-R-GAY!"

31. "How's education supposed to make me feel smarter?"

32. "What the hell is wrong with me? I knew I shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot!..."

33. "Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth."

34. "The best part about living in a houseboat is that if you don't like your neighbor, you can pull up the anchor and drive away!"

35. "Marge, try to understand. There are two kinds of college students: jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time!"

36. "HA HA HA HA, oh did you see that jerk? AH, HA HA HA! HE DROPPED HIS NOTES! AH, HA HA HA!"

37. "Must destroy mankind! (watch beeps) Ooh! Lunchtime!"

38. "And then we'll wrap him up in a blanket and THROW HIM OFF THE BRIDGE! He he he!"

39. "The rest of you are in... except for you, you, you, and you!"

40. "Hello, Mr. Burns? This is your mother!"

41. "Now you can either sit here and cry, and eat dog food, and keep doing that until your tears smell enough like dog food that he comes home, or you can go out and find your dog!"

42. "A buck, eh? That gives me an idea! 50 cents, please"

43. "That dog has a puffy tail! Ooh he he, ha ha ha!"

44. "First I'll pull my legs out with my arms, and now I'll pull my arms out with my face!"

45. "man that team sure did suck last night. they just plain sucked. i've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."

46. "if he can teach a class, he can teach a class i mean i can teach a class."

47. "Welcome to dumbville population You"

(from JRXPAC2000@aol.com) Homer- "Can i have one?" Grimmy- "NO" Homer- "Can lenny have one?"

(from JRXPAC2000@aol.com) Homer- "You have my undivided attention."

(from) JRXPAC2000@aol.com) homer- "stupider like a fox"

(from Cardnalkid@aol.com) Homer- "the 2 greatest words in the english language de fault"

(from Cardnalkid@aol.com) Homer- (hits head while sleeping in church) "Damn it!"

(from Beardog916@aol.com) Carl- "hey don't yell at Homer just cuz he's a little slow." Homer's mind- something was said not good. What was it? Don't yell at Homer! No, that's ok. Slow! they called you Slow. Homer HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT!!! Lenny- hey Homer you still here boy you are slow.. Homer's mind something was said not good. Lenny Get the hell outta here!!!

(from Beardog916@aol.com) Homer- Besides every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember that time I took that home wine making course and i forgot how to drive.. Marge- That's becuz you were drunk. Homer- and How??

(from Eggy765@aol.com) "homer no function if beer without"

(from Eggy765@aol.com) "MUST KILL MOE WHEE! MUST KILL MOE WHEE!!!"

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Page Updated Tue Oct 10, 2000 10:01pm EDT