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Hello, my name is Alissa, and I'm seventeen years old. I have deafness, which I was born with it. I want to dedicate this website to my special friend, rachel because she's one of the most important people in my life. I didn't show her that past this year, so I just want to show her that I do truly cares about her. I met her in private school, almost 3 years ago. We met each other when we were in ninth grade. I was this shy girl, that don't really social with people. When rachel came to the school, I saw something about her that just made me wanting to be her friend. I decided to write her a note to introduce myself. We learned that we have same birthday on same day. I'm only 5 hours older than her, she hate it soo much when I'm older than her lol. Anyways, not very long afterward, we hung out for first time in Monterrey's, nearby rachel's house. We didn't have excellent communication at that time because of language barrier. We have been emailing each other back and forth, as our communication grew. She knew some sign language when she was younger. I taught her some sign language, right now, she's expert at it. She might be even better at it than me lol. We got really close to each other. We just hanged out like almost everyday, talked to each other on MSN every night. We were like sisters to each other. We would go to the mall like almost everyday. We would plan to do some things like go out protesting at abortion clinic. We did have a lot things in common. When I was little bit younger, I experienced a phrase where I was in my shell. I just didn't know how to social with people at school because I'm only deaf student there. After I met rachel, she showed me that all I have to do just to be myself, put a lot of effort on myself to go out meet new people. My life totally changed after I met her, but of course in good way. I never really had a social life, because all of my life, I always withdrawn from everyone, just have this wall around me, won't social with other people. After I met rachel, it's like the wall got destroyed. I started having some confidence in myself. There's one of things I will always appreciate about rachel. She taught me soo many things about life. She taught me how to open up to other people, letting people know more things about myself, and how to overcome shyness. I cannot ever thank her enough for what she done for me. I love her with all of my heart. She always was there for me. |
I really want to let y'all know something about friendship. If you're going through something, like wanting to be popular, hang out with cool people, and being totally wrapped about being center in attention. TRUST ME, it's NOT worth it. Those situation happened to me, and I had to learned in hard way. Let me tell y'all what happened. Around six months ago, we had a prom in my school. We were so focused on getting dress, getting a date, and plan everything. There was a guy that I really liked, and He asked me to go with him to the prom. Things just changed because we were hoping to have all girls going together, have a great time without guys. Everything just backfired, and all of us were stressing out. I am not proud to tell y'all this, I had huge ego at that time and I would do anything to get attention even if it meant to hurt other people's feelings, which I really regret that. Remember that I have been telling y'all that I was very shy girl right? After I came out of this shell, being so shy and all, I got really carried away with this popularity because I never experienced that while I was growing up, and I really disappointed rachel because I was being a jerk to her. I was going through something that I would pretend being someone else, that other people likes. I did some stupid mistakes over and over and over, which I don't even know why I did those in first place. I kept apologizing to rachel over and over. Rachel and I never really solve our problems, because I was avoiding those problems, so that way we won't get in arguments, but I realized that avoiding problems made things worse. My advice for friends out there, always solve y'all problems before you guys goes to bed. The Bible said that y'all need to work out the problems before the nightfall comes, it's not good to go bed with these problems being bottled up inside you. I learned in really hard way, because I wasted soo much of my time avoiding things from her, and look what it cost me, our friendship hit rocky place. I could had worked this out with her in first place. I also really want you guys to know that friendships are very valuable, hold on to it, ALWAYS respect your friend's feelings, and important thing of all, don't do things to them that would cause pain to them. When I realized how valuable rachel's friendship is to me, but at that time, I don't even know if I have that friendship, it's very hard for me to accept that fact. I do not blame her at all because I was the one pushed her into that position. Also if y'all ever apologize to your friends, make sure that you mean it with your heart, and DO NOT just apologize if you're just doing it to avoid argument. That's one thing I had to learn in hard way, I apologized her over and over, not keeping my words, but the bad part about this... This time, I'm truly sorry for everything I done to her past this year, and I regret it every day, but she don't really believe me because she just don't want to go through it again, thinking that I would betray her again like usual, I think that's very understandable because I did it a lot to her in the past and I know it's hard for her to believe me again. I miss her soo much, I really miss us being soo close like we was before. The last thing I want from this world, to see her hurting again. I cannot ever hurt her like I did before. The reason I did that to her because... I was being jerk, had a huge ego, and wanting attention. After awhile, I had a huge slap in my face, seeing all of the pain that I caused to other people. I also realized that popularity is not worth it, and not even close being valuable as friendships are. I learned my lesson that popular kids will FAIL you but friends always stick with you through good and bad times. I'm just deeply hurt to see that rachel was trying soo hard to be there for me when I wasn't being a friend to her. I just got hurt very deeply because I do not like to see the sight of who I was before. I just got fed up seeing what I had to see about myself and I asked myself if I want to be that person for the rest of my life? hurting other people that I would meet in the future? OR do I want to change for better? I always felt this missing part in me. I didn't know what exactly it was? I realized that it might be time for me to get close with God. After I made that decision, I started reading Bible, other books. It really encouraged me to change into better person. The Bible taught me to be loyal to everyone even if they betrayed me, love your enemy, and always forgive other people. I got a lot closer with God. God showed me a lot of amazing things. He showed me how to be true to other people. From now on, I do not avoid my problems, and I will face them and deal with it soon as they come by. I just grew up a lot past this summer. I just changed completely, I truly hope that rachel will see that for herself. She always have been one of important people in my life. I always cares about her soo much, and that never changed. I was blind to that, but it always have been in deeply of my heart. She's the most amazing person. Also one thing I learned about her, she's the most strong person. She's never afraid of standing up for herself, and I always respect that about her. I want to make this website just for her, because I cares. I want to give important message out for friends out there, be loyal to each other, be there for each other, be honest with each other, and work out things that you guys probably feel like you guys don't want to BUT work out soon as possible, to save y'all from going through really painful experience like I did. ALSO always appreicate yours friendship, also ALWAYS make time for each other. If you guys just do those things for each other, then you guys have nothing to worry about and yours friendship will be healthy ones. I just wish that I did those things with rachel before it was too late. Trust me, hold on to your best friend, you'll really regret it if you lost your best friend, it just cause overwhelming pain. My motto is, never do things to others that you would not want them to do those to you. |
IMPORTANT MESSAGE (FOR RACHEL)
I created this website to show you that I do really cares about you, and that never changed. I want you to know that my friendship will always be here if you ever decided to be friends again. I also want you to take your time to think about this situation, and there's no pressure at all. I do know that I did said this a lot to you but this time, I do really mean it. Rachel, I'm deeply sorry for everything that I done to you that caused you pain. I know that you did tried to work this out when you was in position where you were willing to work out things with me, but I wasn't in that position and I really regret that. I'll be honest here, The real truth is, you didn't do anything wrong, and you did nothing to made me chose to be that way to you in first place. Yes, I'm really hurt but not from you, from seeing all things that I done to you for stupid reasons. I know that you have million of reasons not to be my friend in first place. I just wish that we could able to be close like we were in first place. I know things will never be the same as it was before. I'm hoping that things will get better, and our friendship will be stronger. I just hope that you can search in your heart to forgive me, and try to work this out with me, but of course it'll be a step at time. I know it'll take long time for things to be normal again between us, I just hope that we can able to rebuild our trust. I want you to know that I will be here for you forever, no matter what. I just really miss us being soo close like we were before. I do really cares about you, and I love you girl with all of my heart. I hope you likes this website....... Alissa |
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