Oops! I just farted! What to do about being a doofus... OH NO!!! I'm a doofus!!! How to know if someone's a doofus!!!

If you have just farted then too bad for you it must smell! If you don't want anyone to know it was you, follow these directions: 1. Pretend you're looking for someone who farted! 2. Say I didnt fart!!! I am a doofus! Doofuses don't fart! They wouldn't deny it!! 3. Blame it on the first person you see! If you are a doofus, and don't want anyone to know, then follow these steps... 1. Enter a bunch of smarty-pants clubs to make people think your smart. 2. Never talk to anyone. 3. Try and study harder so you won't have to be a doofus! What to do when you've JUST figured out or been told that you are a doofus! 1. STAY CALM!!! Do NOT throw a temper tantrum!!! 2. Go to your parents. Chances are they are probably doofuses to (or were), because you inherited it from them. They might have some tips about what to do about being a doofus, how to control it, and how to solve it. If they are STILL doofuses then don't pay attention to this suggestion. 3. Try and fix your problem, either by going to a therapist or magically get smarter! How to know if someone is a doofus: 1. They are very stupid. 2. They get bad grades. 3. When you say, "Hello there!" and they say, "Yabba dabba dooo!!!" 4. They eat their boogers. 4. Their parents are doofuses. 5. They trip over nothing more than 3 times in one day. 6. Half the time they have no idea what's going on. 7. They talk to themself outloud. Doofus Club Application If you click on DoOfUs doofus, then you'll see that we ACTUALLY have a real doofus club! This is the application to join the doofus club! Private    If private is checked, only the form owner can see your entry. Do you REALLY want to join the doofus club?: yes   no     How many doofuses do you know?:   Must know over 1 doofus Why do you want to be a doofus?: Do you have any doofuses in your family?: yes   no   sometimes   all of them     What's your name?:   This is so we can add you to the Doofus Club!